Life as I find it

Call me old fashioned or ignorant, but I am well aware that I am not entirely cues in to this feminism thing. I am female. I am a housewife, a mountaineer, a professional in multiple areas at my whim. They are all aspects of me. Why should it be that my being a housewife is wrong or makes me weaker in anyway? For that matter, why is there a need to have an exclusive label, if equality and empowerment is the idea?

Does being protected make something stronger? Is that equality? I think feminists are the biggest danger to women power, because they demand that separate platform, rather that empowering women to simply be themselves and powerful.

I think that this whole thing is so hyped and people are so aggressive about it, that all sense of perspective is lost. The original idea of setting women free from social pressure has now given was to the pressure of expecting a woman to reject all that is “traditionally” allotted a feminine connotation. That’s plain silly.

No matter how many women burn their bras, its going to be a hell of a long time before there are as many female construction workers as males and if it happened, it would be plain stupid and a mismanagement of human resources.

Rejecting traditional female roles and beginning afresh is like reinventing the wheel. I am a woman, and only one who doesn’t understand people at all will imagine me to be weak. That strength didn’t come from competing with males or insisting that I be the same as them. It came from being myself and if some expectations crashed, either from the traditional end or the feminity end….. *shrug*

Males don’t get PMS. Women have multiple orgasms. On the other hand, orgasm for a male is guaranteed. Men have more muscle mass than women, women do have breasts, and I’m not even going to get into the psychological differences. Just grab a copy of the Mars and Venus book.

I can understand how it is important for a woman not to be oppressed and how it is a violation of her personal rights. What about the rights of those who are expected to accept women even where they don’t believe it works?

I think woman power is not about “Equal-to-man” power. Why use men as a scale anyway? Are they an ideal? I think its not about woman power even. It is about being yourself and having the guts to go through with it, whether you are male or female. There is no point dragging gender in as a measure while claiming that the ideal is removing it from the public domain.

So people, figure out what exactly it is that you are trying to say. And yes, this is a kind of direct response to a “burn-the-bra” type who had the guts to look down her nose at me for being a housewife. I am a housewife, because I don’t want to land up for work everyday. What’s more, I have managed to figure out a life for myself where I can work 10 days a month at the most and afford to live happily.

I refuse to believe that my feminity requires me to slog 30 days a month to prove I’m powerful. If I can’t ensure my freedom, what power do I have?

I read an article where Amrit Lalji was sacked for wearing a nose stud by Eurest. This is ridiculous! What in the world is offensive about a nose stud? Or are employees not supposed to have any individuality at all?

Are people fired about earrings? Or high heels? Or folding their kerchiefs in a certain way? I can understand how a person could be offensive if she was supposed to be part of the service to VIP customers and dissolve into the background and suddenly coloured her hair purple and kind of defeated the entire purpose of unobtrusive service.

But a tiny nose stud? I mean, her face already has to be noticed for anyone to see that its there. Or should she be removing her face as well if she is stunningly beautiful? This is total nonsense and a prime example of how too much of “uniformization” can make an organization totally blind to any objectivity or sense of proportion in their actions.

I can understand bad service being an issue, or if a customer complains about how the nose stud is offensive, if it is really that noticeable, though I would ask the customer to quit staring at the staff and use the services. Are people in big positions in big organizations really all that idle to be creating issues out of personal presentation to such extents, where it is not even about aesthetics, but simple nitpicking? Who cares if a service staff wears a small nose stud because she likes it?

Just create clones for people. They should walk, talk look the same. And then, speak with pride how your organization appreciates individuality (but of course, not on the job). I wonder what comes next - firing left-handed people?

On the flip side, I find it really bizarre that the woman defends her nose stud with her religious beliefs. I think making a statement out of religion is fashion. Particularly if it breaks rules. But if that’s how the way things are, I would have fired the woman, not for wearing a nose stud, but for bringing a religious connotation into her professional image, considering that she is interacting on behalf of the company.

Honestly, I don’t even have anything about the religious image, but if that is the significance of the nose ring and such an immediate consideration rather than her right to wear what she wants, she’s probably going to explain the religious significance to any customer who comments on it too, which in my opinion gets personal, and emphasizes the difference between the organization and their clients, which could be perceived as a gap by a client and be harmful for PR.

So, coming full circle, I’m happy that she got fired, but I don’t agree with the reasons.

Indian worker sacked for wearing nose stud at Heathrow Airport-Indians Abroad-The Times of India

Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today.

Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace.

John Lennon
From the song Imagine

We have one life and our actions are constantly influencing our environment. It is not like they only influence when we are ready with our good intentions and taking care of stuff. For the environment to be safe from us, we need to be vigilant all the time.

Quick reminder, as it is celebration season in India.

1. Use eco-friendly materials for celebration - traditional clay idols, or better still, idols that don’t need to be immersed in water sources.
2. Noise pollution is a major issue. Every body and his cousin is celebrationg with a louder than thou music band, and honestly, beyond the drums we not just hear, but actually feel vibrating, there’s very little other music involved. Do take a moment to care about your own ear drums, and those of other life forms around you.
3. Fire crackers are another source of air and noise pollution.

Do we really need to celebrate through destructive means? It is not like there aren’t better ideas available to us.

I remember how as a kid I never had fire crackers, but a budget of money for books, a new cycle, etc that I was encouraged to enjoy. I spent time on the terrace with no irritation from the smoke, and looking at the sky to see the fireworks others were busy lighting and not enjoying. In fact, i never developed an affinity for those that make loud noises.

Its not only me, people who are ill, the elderly and dogs and other pets also suffer a great deal from the racket we call enjoyment. People who are working find it irritating. People inside houses can’t speak on phones or watch television from all the noise…….. I guess some of the objective of the noise is “hey guys look at us, we are celebrating” but do you want people to appreciate your celebrations, or feel irritated at them?

One parade I liked last year was fantastic. They had jugglers, people dressed like warriors on horses, people dressed in the traditional clothes of every part of India, and really good music. It was loud, but not so loud that the drum drowned everything else, and the synthesizer went on “power play” trying to cope. It was a variety of instruments - a proper band, and it was nice listening to them as the parade went by.

I certainly wished that there were more like that, and I was very happy about those celebrations.

So we now have a woman president. That’s nice. Honestly, I don’t care less if the president is a man or a woman, as long as they take the country into better days. I’m not really into preferring either male or female in most situations.

However, considering the long drive for women’s empowerment in India, I guess this can be seen as a shining star in its cap. Like my neighbour hastened to point out - “Not even the US has ever had a woman president - we are even more modern that them in some ways”. While I don’t understand the immediate need to compare happenings in India with the US, she does have a point.

Women in positions of power was not really a very big problem in India, its the everyday life of the common woman where the fight is. We have always had loads of them from warrior rulers and politicians, to social reformers, activists and educators and all other influential areas too. The percentage of women isn’t the same as men, but I can say with all honesty and pride that they are plenty and well respected too.

What I find remarkable in having a woman president, is that a president in India also commands the army. So its a pretty symbolic and powerful position for a woman in a society that is serious for women’s empowerment. Its a statement of trust and belief in capability. I like that.

I think this is not really a statement in terms of “woman-president” but actions speaking louder than words in the field of women empowerment. We have a person capable of leading the country well. That person becomes president. It happens to be female. So what? Its that “so what”, so easily typical of India, when its accepted an idea that’s the beauty of it.

With due credit to our neighbour, Mrs M, she has an important point as well. I did promise her that I would mention it in my writing. I don’t think she understands how ordinary a blog is - she thinks I’m writing important stuff that will stay on record for all time. In a way she’s right, but well…. its still ordinary in these times.

She wants to point out (rather triumphantly) that it is America speaking of womens rights and empowerment and all that, but have they trusted their country into a woman’s hands? Indian women are meek and mild, so they are easy to bully in some cases, but in other cases, they are just quiet and that is not a bad thing. When the time is right, see what is happening. An Indian woman is president, and the country is very happy about it.

I think this is pretty much the gist of what she is saying. While I don’t necessary with the “meek and mild and naturally quiet” parts of it, I guess she’s saying it like she sees it. I think she’s just not seeing all the bold ones out here, including me. For her, the typical Indian woman is still the one who’s quietly efficient, modest, and designed to drive me nuts through sheer lack of open communication.

Whatever, we have a new president, and I have duly celebrated the fact that she’s female. Now let’s watch and wait to see where our journey of development as a country leads.