Life as I find it

I’ve been able to flow from one work to another almost all my life. Curiosity got into me, temptation, the lure of quick money, desperation…. you name it, me done it.

Sometimes I wondered if I was some kind of a freak who was good at so many things, yet didn’t have lasting experience with anything and when I moved on, it was usually to something totally unrelared. The only pattern I saw was chaos, which reflected the chaos in my emotional life as well (born in an unhappy family, fostered with grandparents).

My jobs ran included (in approximate sequence) part time work with a cable TV service, running children’s camps, partner in a new layout design business, modelling, teaching English tutions, working on outdoor education/experiential learning programmes, instructing on Himalayan Adventure tours, working as a cook on treks, guiding treks, cultural tour hosting, pack horsewoman on treks, joyrides on horses, conducting surveys in remote villages, “home remedies and first aid” for local horses and dogs, transcripting interviews for documentaries, research for cocumentaries, film making, outdoor adventure training, facilitation on management training programmes, website design, SEO, content development, promotion, blogging……

A varied life…. and it still goes on…..

When I first learnt that a website could be created with a little effort, I remember my wonder - I had thought it to be an exotic and expensive thing, and yet, with a free host and an internet connection and some googled up tutorials, I could do it for free! It seemed impossible and impractical at that time. I had wanted one, and couldn’t afford any money, let alone the fancy quotes I got from designers.

Its been exactly 2 years and 7 months since my first website (which was largely white with some text on it), 13 revisions of my website, as I kept learning new things and stuff. I write on three blogs, run 7 websites (some for friends), earn enough from it to keep myself in necessities, and keep discovering new people, information and dimensions to the world.

This  category of posts - my journey - is a documentation of this strange, but satisfying journey of mine, that needed me to sweat blood, but rewards me just as intensely.

You could wait to become lucky one day, or get lucky right now. How do you go about doing it?

1. Find something to get lucky about
2. Find something to appreciate
3. Find something to criticize
4. Figure out an investment (no matter how small)
5. Plan the result of that investment - however modest
6. Invest money and/or in it
7. Make sure that your investment yields results
8. Find ways to enhance them
9. Start looking for other investments that could strengthen this one
10. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Simple as this sounds, this is the mantra to follow for no matter how small or large the luck you want.

Try it on something simple first. As long as you take the rules no 7,8 and 9 seriously, there is no way you can be unlucky. Fate will conspire to make things happen.

And no, this is not something esoteric, it is simply the perspective shift that happens with involvement in something.

Too many people give up easy. Perseverance is the key to achieving anything.

What use is a webmaster who makes a site and sits passive? He is not a webmaster - he is a designer and the poor site is an orphan. What use is a climber who doesn’t practice?

It is a fantasy that we will be able to “maintain” our current success. Performance and results like everything in life are ever changing. You can’t maintain them, because they are not snapshots to be frozen. What you can do is make efforts that bring a sense of the results being sustained. The sustaining is a new challenge.

Many people don’t understand this, or maybe they don’t want to understand. Because, if they do, they will have to actively make efforts and bear their responsibility infinitely.

It is not as bad as it sounds. Its worse!

The thing with getting that zing out of life is not “maintaining” and “sustaining” and such insipid words. It is exploring! Going beyond boundaries, current abilities and all that we know, to know new things.

It is a shift in our attitudes from passively suffering what life doles out to actively pursuing what we want. Once that shift is made, you will never find yourself worried about sustaining performance, because you will know what you did today is going to be insignificant before what you are going to do tomorrow. No doubts, no uncertainties.

If you are certain of your commitment to excellence, you will find yourself completely accepting that each new moment brings a learning and development curve.

What do we mean by authenticity? It is simply being transparent, sharing your state of being without camoflages and masks. Of having the courage to be, and trusting those with you enough to want them to know it.

Many a times, on programmes, the minute this word comes up, there is a whole barrage of people with objections. Doubts, problems… how it is impossible in todays world. What I see happening is that the subject is important to so many people in the group, which is how all these voices suddenly come up. I also see that there is a lot of fear of consequences if we show our true selves. If it is not liked, it leaves us in a very unhappy and vulnerable situation.

There is not much I can say that can change this. It is true. What I can share is the things that overcome this fear for me.

• I enjoy exploring life. I don’t wish to spend energy in hiding myself constantly.
• If I hide, I am operating from an assumption that what I could reveal will not be liked - this may not be true at all.
• I see strength in authenticity - no one is perfect. It is those with strength to face themselves who can see their imperfections and acknowledge them.
• I see inclusion of the others around me in authenticity. When I open myself to them, I include them in what is happening with me.
• When I am authentic and the consequences are difficult to bear, I can work to explore and change myself and situations. If I hide, I remain at their mercy forever, because I will never change them.

So how does being authentic help us:

• More energy for things we find worthwhile
• My being authentic sends a message to people that they can be themselves with me too
• Relationships based on reality rather than pretenses
• Relationships where imperfections are accepted and issues can be addressed rather than silent resentments
• The power of being exactly what we are without fear

Not worth it?

I think the key to being an unforgettable person is to be yourself. Be spontaneous, genuine and sincere. Being unique follows on its own!

Show your feelings. Many people say smile a lot and people will like you. That is true. Most people enjoy being around cheerful people, but what about when you are not happy? I think, its okay to share that too. This is different from cribbing or complaining. If you can simply express that you are unhappy, because “something makes me feel like that” it shows that you trust the person you are with with your feelings. However, if you crib and blame people, the listner feels uncomfortable. His intention was not to cause you trouble. When people share feelings, offer company, acknowledge it. Share how they impact you. If their expression reaches you, they like you. If their words don’t register, they feel irrelevant.

Be multi-faceted. Easy to say I know. It depends on person to person. Some people are multifaceted by nature, others learn. Discover new interests and present your different interests as different parts of your personality when you interact. For example: if you like playing games on the computer and reading, don’t think you’re a nobody. Know the games and books you enjoy the most. Know the qualitites you like in them when discovering new ones, and it will reflect in your speech. Be aware of what holds meaning for you, and explore it.

The value of silence is highly underestimated. I think a lot of people like me because I can be comfortable and let them be comfortable too when there is nothing to say. My attention is on them, with them and yet, there is no compulsion to speak unless there is something to say. This is good if you want to keep people interested in you long time. Sometimes, being able to just be, without being required to “perform” is what the relationship needs.

Value interactions. People are different. They think, dress, act, talk differently and differences are bound to happen. If you can recognise those as the happy by-product of your acquaintance and be willing to let the other perspectives exist without needing to demolish them, people will be more inclined to share their feelings with you. This also means that they will enjoy being with you.

Have trivia to share. Notice the world and happenings and have interesting bits to share with people that are relevant to their interests. Don’t discuss the latest make-up range with a mountaineer and benifits of organic manure with a computer geek. See if what you’re saying has relevance in their world.