Life as I find it

Those who know me well, know me for a coward when it comes to being poked by sharp things. Needles are sharp. It is not so much the pain of it as the whole idea of it coming closer and closer and I know it will hurt. It goes against every instinct I have to sit still and allow it to happen.

I’ve been hiding a secret in my mouth for years. You guessed it. Its a cavity the size of a parking lot (actually there are two, but I’m ignoring the one that doesn’t hurt). It grew into these majestic proportions due to the sanctuary it got from my fear of dentists.

Logic says that I should have dealt with it before it grew big enough to hurt me…. but I guess its the kind of creeping pain that you somehow don’t notice till it gets too much, while doing something involves someone poking around in my mouth with sharp things….. is it any wonder it flourished unharmed for so long?

Actually, the cavity had made a smart choice when it chose me as its shelter of choice. It probably knew that I wouldn’t allow anyone to hurt it as long as I had a breath to fight.

Alas, it miscalculated. It exploited the very environment it lived in, and bits and pieces of my tooth cracked, and my nerves got exposed, etc. The dentist described it, but I was busy focusing on how I was not going to faint like some Victorian heroine, so there are gaps in my knowledge and teeth that will always remain thus.

But I digress. Coming back to the point and the plight of this cavity, it found itself in a situation where I didn’t have any breath to fight for it, as I was panting through the pain it had caused, and when the doctor told me that I would have to agree to a root canal or else, I was at a point of nodding at anything …. ANYTHING he said if he would make the pain go away. Thus the appointment was made.

The dentist reassured me when I arrived there jumpy as a frog. He told me it wouldn’t hurt, etc etc but I knew better. Of course it would hurt to have him poking into my mouth, but I was beyond caring - I think I was in shock from the cavity.

I clenched my hands, since the good man wouldn’t let me clench my teeth, and stared at that needle coming closer, and closer, until I couldn’t see it anymore. It pricked me, did its stuff, and I was set free to marinate my aching self in the anesthesia. I enjoyed the numbness, and for all my flinching and readiness to register and yell at the slightest pain, it actually didn’t hurt. The dentist (oh that droolworthy handsome man!) said that root canal practices have been much refined in these last few years. Sure felt like it. I don’t remember being willing to listen to any dentist before.

And the cavity? Good you asked. Wouldn’t want it to depart this world uncared for. Alas, it died. We shall mourn its sad demise.

In the meanwhile, I am now hunting for justifications to postpone the treatment of the other tooth (the one I am busy ignoring). So far, I have:

In favor of going ahead and getting the other one done too:

• It doesn’t hurt yet. When it wants the attention, it will ask for it, but then it will hurt more.
• The less the mess, the less the bill
• I liked this dentist. Don’t mind him poking around in my mouth. He’s careful.
• He’s handsome too (or at least seemed that way after this treatment - could be relief).
• I might as well get it done and put it out of my mind

In favor of postponing:

• I could put it out of my mind without doing anything to it too
• Just see the advances in dentistry in the last few years - a root canal is now painless. If I wait for a few more years, I could be spared the pain of the injection as well….

Nah…. I’m not going to analyze it too much. Let’s see what you guys have to say….

Was looking for something fun to do, and came across this Flirting game - Extreme Style by VO5, You basically create an avatar for yourself, and enter a flirting game online. Its quite fun.

What I found really interesting about this was the mischief element. Mischief always calls to me. Here was an opportunity to create a “look” for myself and interact with two other individuals - and what interaction - witty, amusing, and a competition.

Basically, three of us enter a room and one is assigned the role of a judge. The judge asks the other two questions and the winner is decided on the basis of their answers. This is a picture of me as I was waiting for my companions to join me.

My look

And this is me with my Victory Hair:

My Victory Hair Celebration

I found this to be quite an appealing promotion for the Victory Hair products - VO5 Extreme Style. It invites an attitude.

So what are you waiting for, go for it, and share your results. Join me there. I’m hoping to win some free styling products along with creating an awesome reputation for flirting.

I don’t know what’s it with people. Whenever I am introduced to someone, about one time in ten, someone will say that I look like someone. Sometimes its a friend, relative, sister, daughter…. or its some famous personality. The most common ones being Sushma Sharma (an OD consultant) Urmila and Smita Patil.

A friend of a friend actually convinced his wife when I went to meet her after having delivered her first child that I was Urmila’s sister!!!!

Naturally, this is not what I want. I’m certain all of us look like someone or the other, but hey, I am me, not a photocopy of someone.

Out of all these, the only comparisons I like are that with Smita Patil and Sushma - I honestly admire the women. The “fire” and passion in Smita’s roles, the assertive personality….. and its also in me. The spontaneity and presence of Sushma …… So at least I associate that comparison with someone acknowledging that in me. Urmila…… not a chance….. I just am not that stylish.

I don’t particularly look like either of them though….. you figure it out if you can:

Funny, naughty and irrepressible girls having a great time on a top berth of a train

In a world of speed and luxury, I had forgotten the charming sloce of India - long distance travel in Sleeper Class on Indian Railways.

This time, I was attending the HID Forum’s Group Relations conference on Leadership in a Gendered World in Bangalore which was based on the Tavistock model of sensing unconscious group processes, which is a different story. I decided to travel the way I used to travel with my family in my childhood - Sleeper Class.

So here I am on the Udyan Express that left at 8:05am sharp. This Indian Railways experience of mine is complete as I booked a waitlisted ticket days in advance and then tracked its progress eagerly, until it became RAC - Reservation against Cancellation.

Itsdifferent being a kid travelling with a family and the compartment my playground to be an adult female travelling alone, with an unconfirmed ticket and responsible for securing her own seat. Not that I hadn’t travelled by train since then, but Air conditioned compartments are just not the same thing.

I arrived early (being anxious to check my seating status) and ended up entering the train as one of the first passengers in our compartment when it was unlocked.

My first sensation was the smell - its a dingy, ammonia laden horrible smell that is particular to a sleeper class compartments with closed windows and unventilated for some time standing in a busy long distance train terminus with all its implied toilets contributing in turns towards nurturing that particular stink.

I few passengers coughed and opened windows, which brought my attention to a group of four handsome young boys a few seats down. They were watching me with equal interest - the beginnings of long distance train intrigue. More windows opened, more passengers came in, and the smell changed. It was now a complex hybrid of our original smell, perfume, hair oil, sweat, different kinds of food being opened and that typical train smell….. quite overwhelming and kind of nasty but intriguing.

The train took off and things settled down. The smells grew less intense, movement of people stilled, sounds lowered. I had claimed a top berth on entry as usual, intending to sleep my way through the otherwise monotonous journey. Plus, I felt that I had better get some sleep done while the owner of the berth sat below, as I didn’t have a confirmed berth for the night.

Lous tea vendors woke me next and I looked hazily around to see that most top berths were occupied by sleeping passengers - I guess everyone had woken up early to be on the train.

Honestly, I slept for most of the journey, but what I do remember is the sheer diversity of people. All kinds of colours, clothes, languages, foods, ages…… the informal friendliness that needs no introductions….. and three mischief making girls sitting on a top berth near me - they were partt of a large family group going to visit their village temple. Take a look

A most interesting weekend. Raka had gone to do his ALHP with ISABS. I thought that after a week of sensitivity training kind of stuff, he might appreciate the opportunity to find some peace before returning to the bustle of life.

So, I went to Modi Resort on the evening of the 5th which was the party night for their event. I knew over half the community there, and was made very welcome and enjoyed the opportunity to connect with people I knew. We danced for a looooong time.

I spent the next day lazing around, and finally, when Raka was free from the event, we went to a friend’s bungalow near Neral, at a place called Keki Baug, which is full of well maintained bungalow plots for people to relax in. This place belongs to Harsha Joshi, a friend of a friend of ours called Raghu. Actually, Raghu stays there more than Harsha.

Raghu is this nature lover, who once was a business partner with Harsha in some electrical business, which is now Prolite Autoglow. Raghu is famous with all the women, because he is an amazing cook, a bachelor with no intentions of marriage and an amazingly caring heart. Raghu often keeps an eye on this place (and enjoys it) for Harsha.

Harsha is the guy heading Prolite Autoglow, the head of a joint family of fourteen members in Mumbai in todays day and age, a guy whose circle of loved ones expands with each person he comes across.

So, we went there for a spot of peace and quiet and romance before heading to the chatter of the city. It was fabulous.

The house itself is in a well maintained lawn on a slope, with a stream like fountain with a bridge across it. Very picturesque and peaceful. At the foot of the property, there is the backwater from a dam and the season meant that they vally is absolutely beautiful……

What’s even more beautiful is the people. Harsh and family bring “open door policy” a whole new meaning. An example would be that Raka had never met them before, and a day after we arrived, they arrived with some friends from abroad expecting and empty house, and we all had a great time together when they found us there. How many people can bring special guests home to find people they don’t know settled happily and be genuinely happy to find them enjoying the space?

We felt that it was our home too, and indeed it reflected in all we did, from caring for the place to planning future visits…..

More than the land and the home, it is this inviting nature that had us feeling so…. healed. In a world where people are so focused on owning their properties that they forget to enjoy them, Harsha’s attitude enriches all it touches.

We ate pakodas to celebrate the rain and spent a most enjoyable evening with Roxanne joining us for a while. Roxanne is a story in herself. You shant there and do nothing and she happens to you. She tells you about things, asks stuff, and answers herself too…. an animal lover and the manager for the property, Roxanne is one interesting person to meet. May be I’ll write about her separately.