Life as I find it

Diclofenac has been banned in the India? Diclofenac is used mostly for anti-inflammatory purposes by vets? This is news to me. Surprising, since all this is in the Hindu, which is an Indian newspaper.

The reason my friends, that I am taking five times as long to type out this post is the fact that I hurt my tumb. Swelled like a puri, it did. Guess what the local chemist gave me for it? Diclofenac, yes siree!

Needless to say, since taking the medicine, my thumb was the least of my worries. My stomach kept me in agony. And before any whizkid tells me to take zintac with it, I did. I still spent almost 12 hours in excrutiating pain. And now I come to know its a veterinary drug? And now I come to know its been banned in India? Strange, I thought that the neighbourhood chemist was in India. Particularly since I don’t even own a passport.

I have no clue what banning a medicine means in India. Worse, I have no clue why a veterinary medicine was given to me. I am bull-headed, but as far as I know, I’m human.

I have been absent from this blog for quite some days related with my own learning journey.

Been thinking a lot about all these India-Pakistan thingies.

For all people  of the two countries, there is a perspective i’d like to share:

• Identity: Pakistan seems to still be in teenage rebellion mode when it comes to India and the world for that matter – seeking approval from the world, needing support, hating the supporters, the family it grew up from… Its not a matter of if it is a current crisis or a new one. The important thing is to identify the emotional alignment and respect it, regardless of the “price in the moment”. Mindsets can’t be bullied into change – they can only be influenced into evolving.
• India on the other hand seems to be the patronizing elder brother who can’t really understand that teenager and seems to do everything “wrong”, including setting up of family functions (trade, communications…) to encourage the rebellious kid to come to terms with its fold.
• While the teenager may attend, hiding that anger doesn’t make it go away, but pushes it deeper into the psyche, where perhaps the teenager is not even aware of it at times, but it manifests in the tone, the smaller actions…..
• The “firm hand” is seen as supression. So at the moment, India is only unfair, patronizing and superior from the Pakistani perspective.

Unlike the rest of the world, I don’t believe Kashmir is the cause of the “differences” between the two countries, but a manifestation of those differences. Going by the earlier model, its the teenager encouraging the younger sibling to join its rebellion somewhat as a validation of itself as well, while the “patronizing elder” doesn’t think its for the good of that sibling. Of course, what the sibling wants is out of the equation entirely – from the King’s choice at freedom to the people’s in this time.

The rest of the world is unwilling to interfere or voice an opinion in a “family matter”.

If we have to be able to move on with this unending cycle, we need to first recognize it and be able to stop enacting it. It can’t be easy, but it can’t be impossible either.

First, I think its important for both countries to acknowledge their anger and their judgments that hinder them from seeing and being able to work with “the good” in the other. If this means an all out war, so be it. If it means media, cricket, …… that’s preferrable, I guess. In some ways I agree with Bal Thackeray when he calls for a decisive war – it would be an honest expression of the pent up hostility and we would be able to move on. Sure it would be violent and there would be a price in lives – but the option seems to be paying it upfront or in instalments with interest. Getting all that anger out in the open and seeing what it does to both would be the first step to moving on. The point is to get all that anger out in the open, acknowledge its there and work with the awareness that it influences both. Pretending to be saintlike “peace loving” people wronged by the other hasn’t worked for the last 60 years, and I don’t see this camouflage working in the next 60 either.

To accept the differences and to be able to work with what it would like to work with. We don’t need to fall in love. What we need to be able to do is recognize that while there are fundamental differences, their existing in the other okay.

What are these differences and where do they come from?

• The birth: Pakistan got carved out of India on the basis of religion. The greater land, the name remained with India. Somewhere, unconsciously, there seems to be a righteousness to India – as though any problems arising from this birthing process belong to Pakistan, as it is what it always was. That’s untrue. The name may have remained the same, but we are a new country. We also have a birth in our current form. Pakistan on the other hand, seems to operate from an unconscious assumption that it owes its identity to “differences”, therefore, finding common ground with India, threatens its very existence. Not logically, but unconscious fears are rarely logical.
• The enactment of differences: These create further differences to hide the unconscious need to hide anger (notice how it layers?). Wars, media hostility, disagreements…. keep adding fuel to the fire.
• The fantasy in India seems to be that we are a peaceful country, because we are nice people. It doesn’t seem to matter that the comparitively larger size of India cushions and nourishes the prosperity by allowing distance from the hostility. Ask those who live in Kashmir, the north-east or other parts that see regular violence about their experience of their country to discover how those busy surviving would like to paint the picture. One terror attack shakes Mumbai till the next lull comes – why? Because Mumbai is distant from the violence, and when it sees it, its shocked. No one notices the reassuring lull that happens, simply because the distance from the violence allows prosperity to flourish. No such lull happens in Kashmir, Pakistan, or other places close to the violence, not because they are bad people, but because they live closer to the manifestation of differences. The Indians who call India peace loving really need to examine their need for this white-wash. Are we saying that Kashmiris fighting for independence are not currently Indians? Are we saying that rioting Hindutva guys are not Indians? Why then do we have a police force at all?
• The fantasy in Pakistan seems to be that Pakistan somehow needs to be more powerful than India to survive. Their obsession over their identity being based on differences and then one side of the difference having to be “right” and the other “wrong” and their inability to co-exist makes them tremendously vulnerable to every difference that arises – because it must be overpowered or overpower – be it extremists and moderates, army and civilians, Baluchistan/FATA/POK and the rest of Pakistan. It is as though legitimizing any difference threatens disaster. This perhaps arises from the “difference of religion” being thier cause of splitting from India, so other differences seem to call for more and more splits. It also colours their perception of India and how hostility in India over differences is perceived by them. Fighting of any land for its differences seems to legitimize its not being a part of India.The way I see this, the question is not what the differences are, or how the other is “bad”, but what that difference means to us. If the other is evil, what is the threat to us? Is it a legitimate threat or are we operating from primitive responses? Is it possible that the other can be doing very bad things, but they are their actions, and we can still flourish?

What we need is less judgments and more operating from empowerment than threat that frees us to accept differences without fear and striking back.

What do I write? I am stunned. Mumbai is stunned. Statistics are all over the news and on the net, and frankly, I’m incapable of talking numbers in the face of what I am feeling.

Mumbai, my beloved city is being bullied. There is no other word for it. A bunch of random outsiders have attacked it and its people for no apparent reason.

The first I heard of this was when my husband heard of a blast at Vile Parle about a 5 min walk from my parents place. Shocked, I called them up, and called friends and family in the area or near there to ensure that all was safe. I turned on the news to see what was going on, to realize that that blast was hardly news. The town area had been attacked by terrorists with guns and grenades.

The idea was so bizarre, that my first instinct was to dismiss it as some rumour. Who in the world would believe that armed people could just walk in and fire upon the crowd in a public railway station? We aren’t some war torn country for God’s sake!

Then news reports filtered in there was firing in other places. Two people dead, three, five, seven, eleven, sixteen……… the numbers just kept exploding, and I registered with horror that this wasn’t some minor couple of rounds being fired, but proper AK-47s and hand grenades and full on battle! I stayed awake late in the night to hear the “final count” and finally slept. I woke up and fired up the computer to find out what the end tally was to read in disbelief that it hadn’t ended.

Terrorists with guns and grenades had taken people hostage in 5-star hotels. Until then, some unconscious part of me was certain that the hotel firings would be the first to be “wrapped up”, since I associated fancy places with high security and stuff. Not so at all.

Then I read about the ATS chief and an “encounter specialist” being killed. It was hard to keep from feeling demoralized. Regardless of their names, it was their “roles” that finally brought home the gravity of this absurdly filmy sounding situation. You don’t have villains spraying bullets on crowds and two pillars of security of a city succumbing within hours of each other in real life. You don’t have two of the greatest monuments of the city under attack from some stupid gun-toting bullies in real life. You don’t see this seemingly inexhaustible supply of ammunition and seemingly untiring fighters outside films.

The situation is still on. It seems to be almost at its end with the Army having taken over, hostages rescued and the final moves due to begin any time. Yet it is still incredible.

What I found awesome here was the way the news channels rallied with the news, the support and morale of the people and the courage of the forces facing their duty.

What I didn’t like so much was that the politicians of our country seem to be far behind the folks when it comes to humanity and feeling for the fellow being. There was more passion in the newscaster’s voice than the president’s address. I heard decisions, but little concern. Deepak Chopra’s interview with CNN brought alive a thought where in a world with a fourth of the population being Muslims, how could we engage them to be with us in this struggle rather than alienate them and give birth to more trouble. Yet what did I hear from the people supposedly representing the best interests of this country? I heard about how the UPA could have done this that and the other. Frankly, I’m not interested in whose blame it is. I doubt if any party wanted this to happen, and I doubt if any party truly caring about the people could think of blaming their competition rather than standing strong in support of the citizens regardless of which party they supported.

In a time like this, we need dialogue, not blame. It would be more useful to come together to see how the city could be reassured and restored to normalcy, rather than blame different political parties or the ineffectiveness of intelligence or the police or the anti-terror squad.

Be realistic folks, intelligence is called intelligence and not omnipotence for a reason. What more loyalty can our protectors show than walking into the line of fire to do their jobs as they can? Nothing is infallible, including terrorists. It is our lack of faith in “our side” that adds to our insecurity. Yet, trust is sometimes a choice. In this moment of difficulty, we can choose to find someone to blame, or we can trust that everyone is doing the best we can and see how we can combine efforts for maximum impact.

For myself, I’m hoping for things I never thought I’d hope for. I’m hoping that these terrorist guys must be feeling sleepy of all this long and stressful time they have had. I’m hoping for some incompetence where they just goof up and manage to shoot themselves in the foot. I’m hoping that they use the cyanide capsules I’ve heard terrorists carry rather than blow up my favourite landmarks when they feel they can’t go on. Or better yet, that they finally get tired of the whole thing and surrender.

I’d written about people pestering smokers, now its the government doing it. There’s a whole list of “public places” that people can’t smoke in, in Mumbai. Apparently, some people are more equal than others. If you don’t want to inhale smoke, you don’t even need to move away a little anymore. The government takes care of it for you.

I was really surprised to know that you can’t smoke in the premises of the society you live in. Open air really blows all the smoke away, so where is the logic in this? Its not like smokers find vulnerable non-smokers to blow smoke in their faces, you know?

I find this quite disgusting the way some people (read government) think they can decide for an entire population. Has the number of people dying from passive smoke exceeded those dying from diseases spread by mosquitoes and flies and rats? Where are the fines for lack of pest control – not newsworthy enough?

I see India going the phobia way straight into paranoia. Everything that scares you (whether real or imagined) needs to be destroyed. Smoking causes cancer. Awesome. Get rid of smoking, quick! Project every fear of ill health out of your control and get rid of smoking and fantasize that you will now not get any illness.

A few decades ago, it was the Hindu-Muslim riots, where Hindus thought all Muslims were basically killers who would get them one day and vice versa, and went ahead to get rid of them. Look what a beauty that was.

The desi ghee that was once liberally served for promoting good health, is missing from the tables of many families I know – for good health. No one is really bothered to know how that uncle of theirs could drink a glass of it everyday and lived into a bright old age.

People want black and white. If I do this, I will always remain safe. Never mind if it is an illusion. I want it to be true.

So now, it is the turn of smoking. Something that has survived centuries is bad for your health, until the next hype hits – it prevents Alzheimers. Then I guess, health conscious people will begin smoking that one or two cigarettes a day as “medicine”, like many heart patients have their glass of brandy (or whatever).

I’m feeling really disillusioned with this tendency to not just be a part of the herd, but get rid of all the non-herd possibilities.

Can we face it people? We are not immortal, there are no guarantees. We all have one life which each of us would like to live how we want. Can we stop making unnecessary rules without first researching their need, the impact of their lack and their consequences and only make them where we are convinced that their lack is a bad thing and making them will resolve the issue? For example, I wouldn’t be whining so much, if I had data on how harmful my cigarette smoked in open air is to the people living in the house nearby. Don’t give me guesses. Give me data. Tell me how many people in lung cancer wards are there because of the presence of a smoker in their immediate vicinity. Compare that with an estimated number of all passive smokers and give me that dangerous percentage that convinces me I’m killing people.

While you are at it, do put a ban on the religious fires with people sitting right next to them, or you’ll count their victims as passive smokers and ban cigarettes again. Went to a ceremony last week, and my seasoned smoker’s lungs near burned out in the smoke in that hall. I was certain I was going to faint. I actually walked out till the fire business was done. I wasn’t the only one. People were heading out for a breath of fresh air at regular intervals, eyes streaming, make up washing away. So now what? Any one want to take an initiative into measuring the carbon monoxide levels in that ill ventilated hall?

I came across this bizarre (yeah, that’s my favourite word) situation with poor Vlad, who like many of us here is a blogger writing about his interests and writing paid posts as opportunities arise. Now, this situation seems to have a lot of angles to it, but from what I basically understand….

This Vlad accepts to write a review about ePerks. From all that I have heard, this was a positive review (I can’t find it). However, comments on his post were very strongly negative. These had some intervention attempts by an anonymous commenter and the whole thing heated up.

Well… he addressed that exploding comments situation inviting an exploration into ePerks in a follow up post. The company itself did what ….. they shouldn’t have, if they valued their reputation. They threatened him. Now, for a company that buys reviews from bloggers to build thier reputation, to threaten a blogger for writing – and from what I hear, Vlad did not criticize the company until then – is like having an axe… don’t know where to put it… look…. there’s my foot…..

This is basically what happened. This was followed by an explosion of bloggers speaking up in support of Vlad (like I am doing right now). It really is no longer the issue what the services of ePerks are anymore. The issue now is their image. For a company paying to get reviewed, it sure has more unpaid reviews now, and none of them that they would want to pay for. I doubt if any of them include a link either. Some examples would be:

• iHype & ePerks – How To Kill A Startup by Andy Beard really looks into this situation from many angles. I found this post really helpful in understanding the situation.
• Presumed Guilty Until Proven Innocent by Aaron Walls speaks briefly about the right to free speech and the risk involved in mass acquiring of links without building relationships.
• Memo to ePerks.com: You idiots! Trying to censor a real estate weblogger is a poor way to defend your reputation — such as it is… by Greg Swann along with some other posts, all equally “defending” the right to free speech.
• There are many others who have got angry about this whole thing.

My perspectives on this:

• ePerks: This was an incredibly stupid thing to do, which I guess I don’t need to tell you by now. If you pay for a review, you get a review. The end. If you don’t like the comments, go camp out on the comments form, address the commenters (which you did). However, threatening a blogger for something he did not do….. You don’t have a leg to stand on. Opinions are opinions. The smart thing would have been to acknowledge the comments, apologize if anyone had suffered inconvenience, and invite them into a dialogue to resolve the issue, or make your stand clear. This could have got you a few free nice posts, for graceful handling. Now, it is just about digging yourself deeper and deeper, and the damage is really beyond control. How many bloggers can you sue? Do they even live within your reach to do that? Really, I see no happy solution for you beyond a massive apology, an attitude shift and big payments to bloggers for damage control.
• Vlad: I see you doing what you were supposed to be doing initially, but I wonder if you really understood the imact of your second post. While it certainly invited investigation and feedback, I felt that it enouraged making extreme stands, which is good to get lots of comments, but really, how important are comments – at what price?). Though I don’t see how it would have changed anything considering the nature of comments that followed.
• Common man: I understand your frustration at being scammed and applaud your sharing of your experience so that it may serve to warn possible victims, or provide feedback to ePerks, if they do attempt a change of attitude.
• The blogging community: I expereince this rush of support for Vlad as one of the strengths of this platform, and the community. I don’t know Vlad at all, but being in his situation (having written about a scam earlier) I know that it is a risk that we get unnecessarily caught up in legal hassles. While we know that there is something inside us that wants us to stand for the truth, it is equally difficult to face legal feed regardless of who will win eventually. I don’t know most of you personally, but this act of solidarity makes me feel that there is support anyway if we stand for our beliefs.
• For me: The truth needs to be told. If I can do it in a way that facilitates resolution, superb. If not, confrontation it is!