Life as I find it

After ages and ages of being mom round the clock, I had an incredible treat from Raka, who landed home after many days of constant jet-setting with a film in hand. I looked at the CD – Marathi – Natrang. Oookay. I don’t always enjoy Marathi films, but I trust Raka’s incredible taste (or feedback network). So we watched it.

I am blown away by the film and its open, sensitive handling of very delicate, touchy issues like sexuality, self-image, power struggles, relationships…. It is the story of a farm labourer Guna (played by Atul Kulkarni in a way that sends shivers down my spine). The film begins with this guy who works on daily wages for a living and enjoys tamashaas (traditional travelling dance shows in villages in Maharashtra in India). He is shown as a frivolous, self-centered man who thinks nothing of throwing money away watching girls dance, while his family lives in abject poverty. Losing his job shakes him up, and he starts dreaming of starting his own travelling dance group to earn a living.

Friends who earlier wasted time are also in dire straits, and he becomes their leader, writing stories, songs, working hard to make the show a reality. The first story they practice has him playing a king with a dogged sense of newly found purpose. The film follows his progress  with this ambition, as well as the evolution of the man who touches new depths within himself. It is a must see film for anyone who is sensitive to the condition of the human mind.

Parts of the story that will remain for a long time in my mind are the transformation of a frivolous time waster into an artist with the dedication to weather any storm for his creativity. Such shows traditionally have a pansy/eunuch character, and it is the turning point of the film, when unable to get anyone to fill in this role, Guna gives up his role as the king to become a “pansy” performer. The transformation he goes through is one of a man getting in touch with the femininity within him as a part of acting feminine, and I will always remember the incredible shot of him learning to move and dance like a woman. It is transparent. This is not acting. Atul reaches out and embraces his feminine side in all its rawness for all the world to see.

The story moves on to explore the shackles of success, of ‘labels’ that emasculate him, of threats, power plays, being used by loved ones, rejected by his wife, and finally raped in an act of revenge. And Atul Kulkarni as Guna lives it for all of us right there on the screen. If acting could be called authentic, this is it. His strength, his vulnerability….. I am totally floored.

There are parts where it stretches a bit, or perhaps it is my discomfort at the edge on which the hero lives.

Not to mention that this is some of the most outstanding ‘normal’ cinematography and the music is one that meets the story eye to eye and raises the whole thing to a whole new level. Seriously, for once, Hollywood may want to do a copy.

If you haven’t seen the film, go, get it. If you don’t understand Marathi, get one with subtitles. You don’t want to miss this.

I grew up hearing his songs, mimicing dance moves, learning “break dance” from the mysterious appeal his graceful moves had. I heard of allegations of abuse, and saw them as a price of celebrity, without really believing one way or the other. Many judged him harshly about his changed looks.

Yet, if I have to think of the King of Pop, I don’t remember news headlines, but hours spent memorizing videos to catch nuances of moves, trying to spin with the kind of speed……… writing down and learning lyrics of favourite songs…..

Somehow, the music, and the gossip were so separate, it may not have been the same person.

Today, I got an SMS about his death. Hadn’t thought of him for a long time, and when I did, it was with all the snobbery of a grown up person who doesn’t really pay attention to “has been” celebrities. What I hadn’t expected was the sorrow I felt for the loss a man I barely knew beyond hearing his songs and knowing that the colour of his skin changed over time, and that there had been accusations about him in the news.

I found myself searching for news about what happened. Why did he die?

I read about his life, his struggles, his childhood, family, career, medications, surgeries, home……. and for the first time, this man was very real to me. A man who made lemonade with lemons he got, shared generously when he had fortune, had his share of good and bad luck, his share of insecurities, quirks, obsession with childhood and the quest for what he had missed…..

For someone who had a very public life, had been described as a character more than a person, and had admitted that he preferred the stage and real life people terrified him, Michael Jackson’s life, feelings, motivations and circumstances are so transparent in this moment, that I can’t help but think, how much real can we get than to have our deepest hurts, fears and vulnerabilities out there for anyone to know?

Jacko was human. He took the world by storm. He died. Whether he was perfect is irrelevant. What matters is that he made his mark. What matters is that he changed countless lives with his talent and generosity. What matters is that he will be missed.

Was looking for something fun to do, and came across this Flirting game – Extreme Style by VO5, You basically create an avatar for yourself, and enter a flirting game online. Its quite fun.

What I found really interesting about this was the mischief element. Mischief always calls to me. Here was an opportunity to create a “look” for myself and interact with two other individuals – and what interaction – witty, amusing, and a competition.

Basically, three of us enter a room and one is assigned the role of a judge. The judge asks the other two questions and the winner is decided on the basis of their answers. This is a picture of me as I was waiting for my companions to join me.

My look

And this is me with my Victory Hair:

My Victory Hair Celebration

I found this to be quite an appealing promotion for the Victory Hair products – VO5 Extreme Style. It invites an attitude.

So what are you waiting for, go for it, and share your results. Join me there. I’m hoping to win some free styling products along with creating an awesome reputation for flirting.

I don’t know what’s it with people. Whenever I am introduced to someone, about one time in ten, someone will say that I look like someone. Sometimes its a friend, relative, sister, daughter…. or its some famous personality. The most common ones being Sushma Sharma (an OD consultant) Urmila and Smita Patil.

A friend of a friend actually convinced his wife when I went to meet her after having delivered her first child that I was Urmila’s sister!!!!

Naturally, this is not what I want. I’m certain all of us look like someone or the other, but hey, I am me, not a photocopy of someone.

Out of all these, the only comparisons I like are that with Smita Patil and Sushma – I honestly admire the women. The “fire” and passion in Smita’s roles, the assertive personality….. and its also in me. The spontaneity and presence of Sushma …… So at least I associate that comparison with someone acknowledging that in me. Urmila…… not a chance….. I just am not that stylish.

I don’t particularly look like either of them though….. you figure it out if you can:

Fly like an eagle to the sea
Fly like an eagle let my spirit carry me!

I just love this song. A friend told me about her ebay shop and when I visited it, this is the song I wanted painted. To my mind, if there is any one song that inspires a visual, this is it.

Take a look whether you buy an artwork or not, come and tell me what song YOU would like painted.